Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow my baby turns thirteen. A teenager.

The last of my three. The most cuddly. The most outwardly loving.

How did it happen? Where did he go?

Such a soft heart. Today, he and his buddies were told they are on the C squad for basketball.
"It's because I suck," he told me matter-of-factly. Like it doesn't matter. But it does.

Who knew being a mom would be this hard?


Our daughter got invited to go boating today. It's the last weekend before she starts high school, she's completed her summer reading logs and has already emailed them to the teacher, and it's supposed to hit 100 degrees. There was no reason to say no... except my own jealousy.

So I agreed, with the condition that the clean her room.

Imagine my surprise when I went to wake her.
"It's 7:00," I said rather gruffly. "And I thought you were supposed to have cleaned your room so you could go."

She just blinked at me.

I used to teach parenting classes. I do know about consequences and follow through and how kids need rules and boundaries. I know she needs to know that when Mom says something, she means it.

I'm also aware of the 14 year old tornado that would have been released if I had done what I should have done, and not let her go. I know how disappointed her friend would be, who I'm sure was only allowed to invite one friend and she chose Kennedy. But these are just excuses.

At times, I am a marshmallow mom, and I'm sure that has contributed to fact that our home often looks like a frat house, that our children often argue and fight, and the fact that I do way more chores than anyone else.

And I'm gonna crack down, really. I've already announced that stuff left in the living room will be dumped outside. With school starting this week, new chore responsibilities will go in to effect. Bedtimes will exist once again... at least for the younger two...

I post this not seeking any support or condolences, but more as a reminder to myself that I really do need to get a little tougher. Most of you are probably guilty of the same behavior, at least once in a while (except for you, Lisa Souers), so maybe you need the reminder too.

I'm also hoping that Kennedy will get wind of the post and suffer a little embarrassment at the picture. Feel free to send her a note :-)










Yes, I know I write about my kids a lot. They are pretty much my world, and I am proud of them for not just what they do and accomplish, but for the people that they simply are.

The other day, our oldest, Michael, did something that spoke volumes about who he is, and I nearly drowned in a swell of love for him.

Last Tuesday he took my car to get it serviced at the Honda place by Walmart. Ten minutes after he got there he called me at work .

“You didn’t say it would take an hour,” he complained. “What am I supposed to do for an hour?!”

I told him to go wander around Walmart. Look at videos. Buy something to eat.

Grumbling, he said something about Burger King and hung up, and I went back to what I had been working on.

About an hour and a half later, he showed up in the office. He wasn’t grouchy anymore, and as he gave me the car key he said he was going to a friend’s.

“What did you do while you waited?” I asked.

“Well, I walked to Burger King and I was kinda hungry so I got four hamburgers. But I didn’t eat them because on the way to Walmart I passed four homeless people. There were four between Burger King and Walmart! I gave each of them a burger.”

Then he just kind of shrugged, said he’s text me later, and left the office.

I watched him leave and my heart caught in my throat. My little boy, my baby…

I know he’s almost grown. He kind of has a beard! I know my time left with having him as my child is almost gone.

But that afternoon, I was struck by the young adult he has become, and I realized that, as parents, we must have done somethings right.

Matthew 25:40

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’



I haven't done many writing prompts as of late, but I saw this one over at The Wink, and then I followed a couple of the links on that site and soon found myself pondering my childhood and why I am who I am.

If you too want to take a stroll into the past, the template for this thought provoking prompt is right here.

I am from nighties warmed by a heat vent, from Chef Boy’Ardee Ravioli, from huge bowls of Cap’n Crunch slurped up while watching Saturday morning cartoons. I am from Gilligan's Island and "Never dress, until you Caress" from Little House on the Prairie.

I am from cool hardwood floors, sun shining through smoky windows, air always tainted with strong black coffee, the house on 3rd Street. I am from bikes flying through—and later, beer hidden in—the laurel hedge. I am from chasing flying ants with a broom and playing war and climbing rough-barked trees.

I am from the house of roses, fuscias and rhododendrons, from the giant red cedar, from the acre of little farm nestled in the backyard of downtown. I am from raspberries, bursting with tang, from plums so heavy they drop from the tree, from home-canned green beans, put up in summer and plucked—too hot—from a saucepan in winter.

I am from Friday night eating out, and using good manners, from Daddy—who was not my father but was my Daddy nonetheless—and Mom and stories of the South and poverty and peddling. I am from a mongrel line, with no particular lineage—a mutt. (But mutts do make the best companions).

I am from worry and fear (because babies died before me). I am from be careful.

From stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about and you can be anything you want to be. (For a time, I was going to be a brown cow). I am from do your best and quiet let’s hear this now! I am from I love you.

I am from being dropped off for Sunday school, from loving kneeling at my BFF’s Catholic church, from tears at my First Communion. I am from guilt and fearing the wrath of Godand trusting the Son.

I'm from Alaska then Washington then Arizona then back to Washington (this is what divorce can do). I am from Kraft macaroni ‘n cheese and thinking margarine WAS butter until college. I am from good luck ravioli before basketball games, from ham and cheese sandwiches eaten in the gym, from Cinnamon Kitty.

From the barn my Dad built, telling me it was for goats when really it was for the horse I’d been pining for (and I believed him!), from being born in an igloo, from hiding my vitamins in a house plant—which grew very well. I am from watching my mother take night school, from hopgrassers and muhidity and “accidentally” pushing nasty cough syrup out of a window. I am from standing in the grocery store with my hands on little hips, indignantly telling my mom, "Well you're certainly not a choosy mother," when she insisted on the house brand of peanut butter.

I am from a drawer overflowing with snap shots, fading blue ink scrawled on the backs. From people I don’t know, never met. I am from grade school and buck teeth and orange ribbons and fat braids. I am from a mother who endured too much, a glass half empty. I am from a family of five, a family of three.

I am.




As I returned from a quick 3 miler this evening, I got caught in a downpour. In an area that averages about 6 inches of rain a year, I found the deluge rather refreshing, and reminiscent of my youth, growing up outside of Seattle.

I did hustle home though, after becoming thoroughly drenched. As I approached my house, from about a half mile off, I could see two bodies moving across the road, presumably to get the mail from the box. I watched, as the figures paused, then twirled and stomped. They shook their wet heads at one another and looked to the sky. I quickly deduced it was the neighbor girl and a friend, dancing in the rain.

How refreshing it was to see a couple of 14 year old high school students acting their age. In a world of “hurry up” everything, in a society where padded bikinis are sold in the children’s section, it was a treasure to see two girls being silly and playing in the rain.

Over the weekend, I headed off to bed while my own daughter, age 13, and her friend, stayed up to watch Disney’s Alice in Wonderland. Not Johnny Depp’s new one, but the old, manually animated version. Amongst the giggling and text messages and digital pictures they took of one another, they followed the movie, and I believe, thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

In this hurry up world, it’s important that kids still get the opportunities to be kids. It’s crucial that we parents allow (and encourage) our big kids to do kid things… To be silly, and laugh, and make forts with chairs and blankets, to make messes in the kitchen as they “invent new recipes,” to stomp in puddles and get wet on an unexpected rainy day.

Thank you, Life, for the unexpected reminders.


He's 15. He's a good boy. He is right where he's supposed to be.

He's growing up way too fast for me.

"Are you dressing up for your party?" I asked.

"We're just hanging at her house," he said of the friend. "It's just like five of us. I have my tux tshirt on"

Okay. I know I know nothing about these things.

So an hour later, when i see my husband digging out an older, beautiful suit, i'm wondering why, until Michael comes downstairs in his "mobster" outfit. It's his black dress pants and shirt, and a burgundy tie I'd bought for his father. He slipped on the perry ellis double breasted jacket.

"Fits," Dad says.

It almost takes my breath away.

He's so frickin HANDSOME. I am his mother, and I know I'm biased, but even with his football helmet induced acne, he is a gorgeous young man.

On the way to his little party, I say the regular things... make good choices... call me if you need to... Since he's all in black, and it is Halloween, I ask him to promise to hold the hand of someone with a flashlight if they go out looking for candy.

I know, great excuse..."Uh, my mom says I need to hold you hand, kay?"

He'll be driving in a couple of months. He's looking into early admission to the University of Washington. He's perfect.

And he's growing up.


15

Today my baby turned 15, and tonight, all his friends bailed on him. For a while, anyway.

And in those few moments, when it seemed he’s be stuck with us at home… instead of hanging out with friends, I had to go into the bathroom and hang my head to cry. For him. And for me. Because he’s 15. And it’s no longer my job to make sure he and his friends are playing nice. It’s him. Against the world. 

I never knew it would be this hard. these little baby steps to independence... only they aren't really baby steps anymore. He's running full bore.

The friends did come around. He went out, and had a good time. I was glad for him. 

But it's so sad for me.